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Alex Cully

Resan

Utanför flyter allt förbi. Ruinerna av gårdagen är minnen som inte tillhör någon idag.
Historien berättar om uppfinnare och frihetskämpar, men aldrig nämner historien hur dessa
människor inte är perfekta. Perfekt är ett giftigt ord. Det är några få bokstäver från defekt​,
vilket är det första ordet jag tänker på. Ofta är det resonerat om dessa historiska figurer
skulle vara defekta i samhällets strävan för moralisk perfektion, måste de då dömas hårdare
som om de vore ansvariga för nästa generations handlingar?

I fortsättningen på resan i moralen, kan vi fundera var vägen är. Är det en väg? Är det en
gång som vi går på själva eller sitter vi på en båt i havet, där alla ombord har ansvar? Och
det finns dem som hissar ner livbåtarna och tänder eld på båten.

I fortsättningen på resan i tiden, kan vi fundera vad resmålet blir. En öde sfär i Vintergatan?
En utspridd mänsklighet i det vi kallar rymden? Eller åtminstone svävande bilar? Så långt i
framtiden ligger vi kanske inte på solstolar och njuter.

Snart är tåget i Uddevalla, och min resa fortsätter på fot.

Talking to myself about myself in June 2017
What do you write when creativity is in low stock, or perhaps even non-existent? The
beautiful things in this world come to mind, but what meaning does beauty have to behold
when meaning itself is left behind? Meaning is there, waiting to be found but lost somewhere
in the background of the obsolete materialistic horizon. If you want to go deep, do not dig a
hole. The generosity you give stems from your soul, the consciousness of ethics. Our moral
code is humanity’s greatest treasure not to be confused with treasury, as if our humanity
should be earned.

I discovered where my mind wanders without poetic intention now, which is still poetically
inclined with the same message of “humanity should really be synonymous with
compassion, guys”. Nothing wrong with that, but I sometimes fear the possibility that I am
done with developing my personality. At the age of 22 I am so content with myself that I have
no wants anymore. Except for people to be decent in their fucking lives for once. Ah,
Jehovah’s witnesses just came by with their modern day crusade and the theme “Don’t give
up hope”, as if the belief in the afterlife’s rewards of generosity is the only reason to be
generous in the first place. I would obviously not complain about it if everyone actually
thought that was true and people were compassionate, generous and kind if only for their
own gains in the afterlife. I just don’t buy it.

I think I should clarify one thing though; I do think life in its grand design is without meaning,
but as the saying goes “life gains the meaning it is given” so I don’t see existence as a
vacuous void of hopelessness. I am just too rational to think God is a being of absolute
power, who by the way is still letting people starve to death, and gave us the gift of free will
to fuck up other’s lives and not punish them until their earthly demise.

Love & Loss_two sides of a coin
It is seeing something or someone and wanting to see them again.
Love.
It is an experience you hope to have again.
Love.
It is hearing and hoping to hear it forever.
“I love you.”
...
The heart takes one last beat.
...
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
You no longer want to hear.
Loss.
You no longer want to experience.
Loss.
You no longer want to see.

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